Losowe angielskie dowcipy
Engineers Laying Sod ->
A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!" In the second room she told the... [ca造 ->]
Texan Computer Terms ->
"Hard drive" -- Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires and pulling a trailer load of fertilizer. "Keyboard" ---- Place to hang your truck keys. "Window" ------ Place in the truck to hang your guns. "Floppy" ------ When you run... [ca造 ->]
Together At Last ->
Marie's funeral is a sad one as she goes to join her departed husband. Standing near the casket, a mourner keeps repeating, "At last they're together. At last they're together." A mourner whispers, "Why are you making such a tumult? She was a tram... [ca造 ->]
Penis holding ->
An old woman in a Nursing Home looks up one day to find an elderly man looking down on her. She smiled and asked him what he wanted. "To get straight to the point,I know we are old and can no longer pleasure in sexual activity,but I was wondering ... [ca造 ->]
Viagra ->
Question: Why did they give the old man viagra every night before bedtime in the nursing home? Answer: So he wouldn't roll out of bed!... [ca造 ->]
In Common ->
What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common? Men always miss them!... [ca造 ->]
Careful Now ->
Then there's the woman who goes to the dentist. As he leans over to begin working on her, she grabs his balls. The dentist says, "Madam, I believe you've got a hold of my privates." The woman replies, "Yes...And we're going to be careful not... [ca造 ->]
Army vs. Marines! ->
Two Marines boarded a quick shuttle flight out of Dallas, headed for Houston. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before take-off, an Army soldier got on and took the aisle seat next to the two Marines. The Soldi... [ca造 ->]
Vultures and Mothers In Law ->
What is the difference between a vulture and your mother-in-law? Vultures wait until your dead to pick on you.... [ca造 ->]
Ponytails ->
Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails? A: To cover up the valve stem.... [ca造 ->]
Andy is God's son ->
A blonde dies and goes to the pearly gates of heaven to meet Saint Peter... He first tells her that the only way she can get through the gate is to pass a quite simple test. "What is The Son Of Gods name?" He asked. She thought for a minute ... [ca造 ->]
Things That Took Me Fifty Years To Learn ->
1.) Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2.) If you have to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meet... [ca造 ->]
Wooden Leg ->
Harry was delighted when he found a young woman who accepted his proposal of marriage as he was sensitive about his wooden leg and a bit afraid no one would have him. In fact, he couldn`t bring himself to tell his fiancee` about his leg when he slipp... [ca造 ->]
Two Dogs.... ->
The young Indian boy had spent most of his life in a quandry... He felt different yet... couldn't figure why... he was just so depressed. He went to the Chief for answers... He asked the chief how his brother Red Deer Running had gotten his name... ... [ca造 ->]
Hard To Get ->
It seems that a devout, good couple was about to get married, but a tragic car accident ended their lives. When they got to heaven, they asked St. Peter if he could arrange for them to be married, saying that it was what they had hoped for in life... [ca造 ->]